Le faux pas

It was a very unusual weekend for us. Celebrating an American holdiday in France was a little challenging. For us, Thanksgiving is all about family so being so far away was sort of hard. Alas, we had one evening that was really special with the local expat group. This group has really been a life-line for us. The group is filled with english speakers but it is also well-attended by many local french who enjoy improving their english. They are all very welcoming and we've already made some good friends.

We're very sensitive to any cultural faux-pas that we might commit here (curious that I have to use french to describe that nuance). It's difficult though to be aware of somethings. There are so many things we take for granted. For instance: teasing. Americans tease. A lot. Not in a mean way. We just like to give ourselves gentle ribbing. It's very much a way we show affection. Tonight was a great example. The folks who organized our Thanksgiving outing invited a gentleman from the local americsan consulate to say bonjour. He was very gracious and, I thought, the consumate American. He did the usual political niceities and then he requested that the audience give a friend of his (who was in the restaurant business) some feedback suggesting the locale of our dinner was far superieur to his establishment. It was, I felt, so American. Understand that I've had almost no social contact with Americans (other than e-mail) for 3 months so I'm probably hyper-sensitive. But the teasing made me feel transported.

Minutes later, I was chatting with a french friend at our table who had just received her after-dinner coffee. Unlike the rest of us who recieved a paper cup with our espresso (very unfrench) she recieved a ceramic cup. Well, I demanded jokingly of her "how come you deserve a real cup"? She looked at me guiltily. She did NOT understand that I was teasing. Perhaps it was my french. Humor is SO subtle. Or perhaps it is simply not the way one plays with a friend in France. So much to learn.